"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
Just before a spanking do you ever remember your parents saying something like "This is gonna hurt me more that it's gonna hurt you?" I always wondered (and have many occasions to reflect upon) that if it hurt dad and mom so bad to give me the spanking, why didn't they cry when they gave it? I remember on one occasion in the afternoon following a 2nd grade day at school, I had pushed my mother too far and the discipline stick, also known as the Board of Education, came down from the top of the refrigerator. She uttered those words and then gave me two swats, to which I piped up and said, "Is that all you got?" After the initial shock wore off her face, my dear sweet mother responded with, "Just wait until your father get's home from work." I am not sure if dad cried or not that night, but I certainly had a reason to when he came home.
It wasn't until I became a parent that I realized how painful it can be for a parent to provide discipline. Yet, without that discipline the pain may be even greater later. Proverbs 13:24 offers wisdom, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." Proverbs 23:13 echoes this message, "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die." It is a necessary responsibility of parents to discipline children. The selected method of discipline must teach discipline for it is a very important lesson to learn. In so doing, a father and mother prepare their children to respect authority and others, honor boundaries, make good choices and expect consequences for bad decisions. Patience, grace, discipline and love are the kinds of virtues that I want my children to learn so that their lives will be filled with joy, peace and goodness when they have to make life decisions on their own later.
Tonight my son had to be disciplined after he acted with disregard for others, disrespect for authority and disobedience. In my tested patience, I offered him loving discipline, which was followed up with a measure of grace and comforting love. But tonight my heart aches as I consider the discipline of my child. My heart is broken because I love my son so much and I want him to learn by his actions and attitudes to glorify God. I don't want him to experience unnecessary pain in life, so I discipline him now to guide him in the way of the Lord. I wrote the prayer below on the day that my son was born and I reiterate it now in my time of devotion as a recommitment to my responsibilities as a father:
"God, I pray over my son as I hold him in my arms. How could you do it? I don't think that I could.
Not for anyone. But you did give up your Son, your only Son, even for a sinner like me. I pray that
you protect my boy. It's a difficult prayer to pray to you Father because it feels selfish when I know
that you gave up your Son, and that if you had not done it, I would not have the opportunity to know
my son in heaven. What a sacrifice! Still, I pray for you to watch over and protect my boy. Give
me wisdom to lead him to walk with you. Lord, into your hands I trust my son."
I can't help but wonder about The Father's grieving heart as He watches over the world. God the Father has been patient with us from the beginning and even now after the sacrificial gift of his Son. At the death of Jesus, maybe, just maybe, God was up there or out there or right here saying to Jesus and even us, "This is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you."
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